FIONA APPLE

"Paper Bag"

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold

Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,'

he said
'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything'

But he didn't get it I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

~

I think Fiona Apple wrote this song for me. I feel exactly like this sometimes, when I'm at my most negative. Hunger hurts, but starving works - it hurts to want someone real bad and not getting anything back. It's better to just get the delusion out of your head, because damn, "it costs too much to love."

Girls, you feeling it? Admit it, we all feel that way sometimes. I'd wager my life on it! Every single girl who has been through a relationship,we've felt it or thought it at one point or another. Yes, you there, the one feeling faint from all the estrogen.

(Gahd, what am I typing?!)

But I'm DEFINITELY NOT saying that those are my sentiments right now. I'm happy with him :)

Damn, someone's in a typing mood today. Hahahahaha.

What I'm singing... =)

Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

I got a feeling in my soul ...

POLDOKI, this entry is for you. 1 hour palang, I miss you na. Was so sad to see you off at the car awhile ago... Keep in touch, you bum. Okay? (Parang ang layo at ang tagal di magkikita!) I'll always remember you with these two songs (senti mode)...though they have no relation to you at all. Hahahaha. To me? Hmmm let me think about it...

Mr.Brightside - The Killers

I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his-chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, letting me go

And I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside

Do good on your report.

I love you.

YECH.

You're in luck. I'm in an overly-analytical and typing mood.

I am so TURNED OFF. It's not that I'm disgusted or grossed out by this person... It's something worse. I feel disappointed. I might hate a person, but when I say I'm disappointed with someone, its more serious than it appears to be. Disappointment, well, disappoints me. It washes over me like a sad love song... I hate the feeling. I am so turned off by the shallowest of reasons, someone's profile on fucking Facebook. Why I should care, I don't know. But isn't Facebook the ultimate site or place to market yourself in the way you want other people to see you? With his profile as the proof, does he want people to see him as a cheap, assanine, dope-loving, FHM-hogging, womanizer who has illusions of being, umm, "street"? I dislike the idea. Eww. Hopefully it was just a front, or it's his idea of humor. Trust me though, its not funny... waaaaah I'm feeling so bizzare. I really am just turned off. Yech.

SAWI MUCH?

We have to realize that love is not enough to make relationship work. We need trust, respect, time, effort and TOTAL COMMITMENT. If a person doesn't show respect, doesn't earn your trust, and can't keep a promise, then no matter how many times they say i love you, those words will be empty. Take time to listen to what they don't say. Take time to look at what they don't show because there are secrets hidden beneath their words. So, don't let passion, but wisdom to decide for you...love wisely because it's never easy to love and get hurt.

Screwed and Messed Up

"It's risky falling in love, it's like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes, and forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person and you become completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget about him for two minutes. If he's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love."

Because.

I love you. I love your eyes. I love your smell. I love your hair. I love your laugh. I love your skin. I love everything inside you. And I'll try to make all the parts that I find, happy.

Because you make me happy. So much.

Happy monthsary!<3

My Name

Or might as well say MY NICKNAME. :)

This is creepy.

• Your name of Chaye gives you a clever mind, good business judgment, a sense of responsibility, and an appreciation of the finer things of life.

• You are serious-minded and not inclined to make light of things even in little ways, and in your younger years you had more mature interests than others your age.

• Home and family mean a great deal to you and it is natural that you should desire the security of a peaceful, settled home environment where you can enjoy the companionship of family and friends.

• Whatever you set out to accomplish you do your very best to complete in accordance with what you consider to be right.

• Although the name Chaye creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it can cause a superior, interfering expression whose favorite expression is "I know" when not combined with a balanced last name.
  
• This name, when not combined with a balanced last name, can also frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses through worry and mental tension.

Get yours at this odd Kabalarian Philosophy name study website. "Your name creates your life!" Interesting, but in the end, scarily determinist, and puts the control all in the hands of our dear dear dear parents and whatever name they set their hearts on at that time. My real name is a combination of my father and granfather's name, (MARICAR = Marcos+Carlos) maybe that's a distintly filipino trait. But yeah, I've never hated my name, nor did I think it was particularly unique or pretty. CHAYE ha, not Maricar, because I haven't been called that in ages. :)) In hindsight, Maricar sounds more like a grown-up, pulled together person. But fyeah. Chaye is just, it's just...me, and it's also just...a nickname. Which might be the whole point of this philosophy. The second to the last point actually strikes home... Maybe I should make a mantra out of this: Go beyond the confines of your name!